SP Lovers ❤

At our last Gringoes.com networking event I met a whole bunch of new people (new to me). Some had lived here for over 10 years, others barely 10 days and not all of them were "SP Lovers" but there were a few and I love when I make that connect. One of the newly arrived stood between two "SP Lovers", and he said at the end of our conversation* that he was so excited to meet us because he was already an "SP Lover" but had only met a handful of "SP Haters" so far. I know, I know, I'm being a little divisive and that really everyone exists on a spectrum here.. some days are great in this city, some are not so great. I'm a 99.9% SP Lover.

So most of you living in the city will be have discovered the 99Taxis app. It's available on your smartphone and you don't have to talk to anyone to get a taxi. It sends a message to taxistas in the area, and one of them will accept your request and you can follow their route until they arrive. It's the most popular as it's free for taxistas as well so all of them are on it, and you have get a much faster response. I imagine it will be one of the most popular apps for "no-speak-português tourists during the World Cup. Another one of my favourites, especially when my Portuguese was not so great on the phone, is Rádio Táxi Vermelho e Branco where you can actually type in your reservation online (Faça sua reseva). I'm using it right now to book a taxi for tomorrow morning!!

BTW, put Saturday 21st September in your diary. SP Lovers will be celebrating the first anniversary of SP Night Market at Escola São Paulo and showcasing some of the favourite and best in this city! (and it's going to be FREE entry!)

*We were talking about how much we love to use the metro here, seriously! I like taxi's and the metro - whatever is going to get me somewhere fastest!! 

Dating in Brazil

Feliz Ano Novo!! A slow start to 2013 blogging.. as much as I think I'll have time while I'm travelling I'm not so compelled to sit at my computer when I have friends + family to catch up with and of course I'm busy killing saudades for Asian food. But at the same time it was SO nice to come back. I love holidays but living out of a suitcase (especially with 2 kids) is tiresome, and jetlag from travelling half way around the world makes it almost not worth it. This is home for us, for now.

If you have been following the JAM blog, my business partner Maria has been blogging up a storm about her first few months here in Brazil. The most popular one is the dating one she just posted which I'm re-posting here so you can live vicariously through her too!

Dating in Brazil (originally posted here)

It’s amazing how despite the increased cultural sensitivity one acquires from living abroad, extensive travel and the acquisition of international friends it’s an endless educational process.  When it comes to dating inBrazil, it’s no exception here are a few things I’ve learned: (Disclaimer:  the content below is based on observations and extensive interviews with Brazilian friends who have expressed their views.  It does not by any means reflect my private life or my personal experiences which I would prefer to keep private).

Paquerar = To Flirt.  This is the initial “mating’ subtleties two people engage in to initiate contact.  In Brazil it’s almost scripted.  Picture the scene at a “Balada” the Brazilian Portuguese word for “Night Club.”  Guy makes eye contact looks away; you make eye contact and look away. You watch him from across the room as he attempts to arouse your interest by flirting with someone else (you know it’s for your benefit only).  He walks by in the crowded “Balada” slow enough so that by chance you might catch the smell of his cologne or the touch of his skin (depending on how crowded it is).  This might go on for most of the night until he finally gets the courage (or has ruled out his other options…sad I know!) to walk up and talk to you.  He’ll usually ask you to dance and take this opportunity to hold you ever so close.  This is perfectly normal and means absolutely nothing.  If the dancing goes well and there is chemistry between you then the obvious next step is to get even closer as you dance (If you’re not glued to each other than you’re not close enough…reminder this is perfectly acceptable and means absolutely nothing other than for pure “in the moment” enjoyment.

If you’ve made it this far it will only be minutes before you’re snogging on the dance floor. Be warned this is not the casual innocent kiss.  We are talking about an escalation of some serious face sucking.  If you’re tongue is not down his throat on its way to his stomach then its only seconds before it will be.   If this process is still “gostoso” Brazilian Portuguese for “tasty” usually reserved to describe FOOD and WOMEN; somehow one in the same in this country.  A typical use of this word goes something like this “ Que Gostosa, eu vou a comer a voce” “you’re so tasty, I’m going to eat you”.  Then, the snogging is escalated to a side wall at the “Balada” for a little bit more privacy and besides the wall serves a purpose as you’re pressed up against the wall for some serious dry grinding and more snogging.   If things escalate further (and they will) then you can fill in the blanks from there.

 The key here is it means absolutely nothing other than carpe Diem.  Tomorrow is another day which may involve you but more than likely not.  The day after though might have your name on it though as Brazilians always come back for more unlike your typical one night stands and this is where it gets complicated because you move from “Paquerar” to “Ficar” which means ‘seeing each other’. The trouble is you have no idea how many people exactly he was “ficando” with when you met him or while you are “ficando”.  One thing is for sure, as long as he is seeing you from time to time, then you’re still in the game.  The fabulous news is that the rules apply to everybody so you can be “ficando’ with lots of other people too.  Basically this carries on until you start “seeing less and less of the others and more and more of each other.”  In which case you find yourself “namorando” or “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” which means you’re exclusive to each other however this means nothing because you can be “namorando” endlessly for years.  Bottom line unless he is introducing you to his friends (this is universal) then he is definitely not putting a ring on it.  Now, if you’re meeting the friends AND the family, then you are definitely on your way. 

I should also mention most guys in Brazil unless they are married will be living at home with their parents.  I know exactly what you are thinking, which brings me to the next phenomenon…Love motels.  There is NO shame or negative stigma in a love motel as ALL the social classes from A to Z participate as there is something for everyone’s taste and budget. 

Some finer details you should know, while in most places around the world if someone says “Talk to you later” the expression is open ended with no expectations of actually talking later.  The equivalent of this in Brazil is “Let me call you back.”  Which does NOT mean they will ACTUALLY call you back so don’t bother waiting for a phone call.  It’s a way to get you off the phone and nothing more.  Additionally, “I promise…” “See you..” “Yeah we’ll talk” all have Zero value, you might as well start believing in Santa Claus.   Oh I almost forgot, Brazilian men will lavish you with compliments from the second they meet you “you’re so beautiful”, “you’re so smart”, “Wow you smell so great”, “you have such beautiful eyes, legs, hair, lips, body etc etc.”  I know you ARE fabulous, but it’s NOT you its protocol so take compliments with a VERY small grain of salt.  Last, expat single men living in Brazil pick up the Brazilian protocol very quickly so beware!  On the bright side rest assured though when Brazilian men do fall in love they will be eating out of the palm of your hand.

Expand your local lingo with dirty.jam.brazilian_portuguese

To com muita raiva!

I've had two really classy moments this month where I have been so close to having a freak out or breakdown, or both.. I can be a pretty angry person in English but this anger was compounded by the fact that I don't have any angry words to use in Portuguese. I know that people say that the first words you usually learn in a language are "hello", "thank you" and all the naughty words but I've been sheltered by the fact I'm surrounded by children most of the day.

The first episode was when we landed in Guarulhos, after 28 hours of travelling from New York (delayed, redirected to Miami, delayed boarding, delayed on tarmac) and American Airlines had lost our luggage as well! We were not the only ones but you as you can imagine we were pretty tired, pissed off and surrounded by crying, tired, hungry children. One Brazilian father had a complete wobbly, shouting at the staff and I thought, I need to learn some of those words! To be honest though, I think shouting here only encourages people to work s.l.o.w.e.r but it does feel good to shout. 

The second time was when I ordered new grass for our garden, and when they delivered it we only got half. When I called the guy I bought it from, he told me I needed to speak to the person who supplies the grass rather than him (the man I bought it from)! It's one thing trying to communicate without words when you need something - food, water, directions - but how do you communicate anger, over the phone? So I told him "Vou chamar a policia!", I laughed the moment it came out of my mouth - it was the most threatening thing I could say in Portuguese. The rest of the grass is yet to be delivered...

So I asked for it to be the focus of my portuguese lesson this week and here is a summary of some expressions you need to know:

Teve uma tempestade: Had a storm (of anger!)

Eu fiquei muito brava, ficar brava: I was very angry, gets angry

Eu to com muita raiva: I was with lots of rage

É muita sacanagem: This is a dirty trick, use it when someone does something mean

Vocês estão brincando, né?: Are you playing me?

Se vira!: Turn yourself around, i.e. go and sort it out!

Não quero saber!: I don't want to know

muito folgadas: very, very lazy person. I can be "folgada on a Sunday morning", for example. Reminds me of our plumber who would arrive at work at 10am, work for 1 hour, go for 2 hour lunch, have a 2 hour nap, work 1 more hour and then go home! He was "muito folgada" all week long. 

I have to plug our dirty.JAM. Brazilian Portuguese - all the dirty words and phrases they didn't teach you in class. I need to learn it myself!

Permanência

So we are almost there! (I feel like I've said this already some stages ago..)

We had our permanent visas approved a month ago, and went to the Federal Police 2 weeks ago to get the stamp in our passports, hand in our Temporary RNE's and pick up the RNE Protocolo - the piece of  paper with your photo and a stamp. I say "almost there" because it will take another 9 months before we get our Permanent RNE's... but it's the start to the end (of the process), or I should say the start to the start of living here properly.

You can't just turn up to the Federal Police. Renata, our agent, made an appointment for us as soon as she was back in the city. The Federal Police were (are) on strike so I thought it was going to take forever - and it did. We were the first to arrive for the appointed time - though we would've been pushed to the front of the queue with the girls (rent-a-child-for-federal-police-visits would be a great business idea). It's up on the second floor still but they have opened up the office so it's so much more spacious. You can watch the process taking place over half  They said only one person could go in so Tim took all the documents assuming they would process everything together.

45 minutes later after a lot of shoulder shrugging and questions he walked out and then it was my turn, with Sophie. It turns out we had the one trainee who had to question everything (i.e. you were born in England but you are British, is this the same question... and unsurprisingly, she asked the same question for Sophie). The delay was because my first visa was stamped in my old passport, but since then it's expired and I obviously have a new one. There was a big discussion about where my new visa should be stamped. To me it was common sense that it should be in my new one, since the other one is technically expired and I don't want to carry it all the time.. but of course, it went in my old one.

It took 3 hours but in comparison to my first visits when I use to leave in tears, out of frustration, this was a walk in the park. Straight after we were interviewed by Band FM Radio. They dedicate their Thursday evening sessions to interviewing expats who live in Sao Paulo. I was quite nervous as it was going to be all in Portuguese and the questions were off the cuff but she reassured me that the listeners love all the silly mistakes foreigners make... It ended up being a lot of fun talking about our lives here, how much I love Brazilians (my Brazilian friends told me off for that), traffic and food. They are always looking for people to interview, so if you think your Portuguese is up to scratch drop me an email and I can put you in touch with them.

In the meantime we'll be working on driving licenses and registering my cupcake company, so this is not the end of my blogging about Brazilian bureaucracy!

Some of the things I miss...

It's hard not to make comparisons when we are away from Brazil - things we love and things we hate. I was never the biggest fan of living in London but coming back always highlights all the things I do love about being here, much to the surprise of my husband.

Being in London has also been a good reality check. Sao Paulo is expensive but London still is!!

Old friends. It's so lovely catching up old friends - so many of them are as close to me as my own family and it is like coming home. After a day or even a few hours, it's like we haven't been apart. We have made fantastic friends in Sao Paulo and as it always in expat circles, you make those friendships strong and fast and share your deepest darkest secrets after your second or third week (nothing to do with pinga of course!). I just wish I could collect all my lovely friends up and put them all in the same city!

Shopping. I went a little crazy but to be fair, I don't do much shopping in Sao Paulo apart from the supermarket and have been really excited about some silly things like clingfilm in a box with a razor, cute kitchen shops, Peter Jones, Waitrose, Primark! We have 120kg to bring back so have a bit more shopping to do while we are in France though maybe some of that luggage allowance maybe taken up by some good old bottles of Sancerre.

Food. I love my rice and beans but I don't miss it like ... hmm, sausage rolls, frazzles, dairy milk, clotted cream and scones, chinese and thai takeaway... ok, basically junk food!

We are heading back to SP this weekend after being away for almost a month and looking forward to some warm weather, seeing all our NEW friends (and sadly, saying goodbye to some more) and having a pastel or 2!