INC Dicas Launch Party "São Paulo Comes Alive"

The International Newcomer's Club was one of the first groups I joined, it is where I met some of my closest friends here in São Paulo and I feel very indebted to the ladies who vounteer their time to run this club. It is specifically for people who have just arrived in town and are looking to meet people, find out information and the one awesome thing you can buy is their "Dicas" / tips book. It has listed anything and everything you could possibly needs from dentists to schools, to restaurants and plumbers. Each company or service must be recommended by 2 different members to be included in the Dicas book.

Next Saturday they are having a party to launch the release of the next edition of the Dicas. See information below.

Dicas Launch Party

"São Paulo Comes Alive!"

On Saturday, September 14th, INC will celebrate the launch of the 11th edition of the Dicas city guide to São Paulo. Copies of the Dicas are spread throughout the city by our members, (relocation) companies and (international) schools. Congratulations in becoming an essential part of this handbook for newcomers to São Paulo and having your company or service recommended by one or more of our members! If you are curious to see the book, interested to buy it, or you'd like to join the party - send us an email!

We invite all newcomers, expats and others to join us at this party for a fun evening filled with food, drinks and caipirinhas, DJ performances, live music and décor… as if you are in the streets of São Paulo! And have a chance to win great prizes in the Charity Raffle while supporting the children at Vila Acalanto Orphanage.

Tickets can be bought via dicaslaunchparty@newcomers-sp.com.br.

When: Saturday, 14th of September, 20h00

Where: Esporte Clube Sírio, Av. Indianópolis 1192, Moema

Tickets: R$150
For more information: www.newcomers-sp.com.br

SP Lovers ❤

At our last Gringoes.com networking event I met a whole bunch of new people (new to me). Some had lived here for over 10 years, others barely 10 days and not all of them were "SP Lovers" but there were a few and I love when I make that connect. One of the newly arrived stood between two "SP Lovers", and he said at the end of our conversation* that he was so excited to meet us because he was already an "SP Lover" but had only met a handful of "SP Haters" so far. I know, I know, I'm being a little divisive and that really everyone exists on a spectrum here.. some days are great in this city, some are not so great. I'm a 99.9% SP Lover.

So most of you living in the city will be have discovered the 99Taxis app. It's available on your smartphone and you don't have to talk to anyone to get a taxi. It sends a message to taxistas in the area, and one of them will accept your request and you can follow their route until they arrive. It's the most popular as it's free for taxistas as well so all of them are on it, and you have get a much faster response. I imagine it will be one of the most popular apps for "no-speak-português tourists during the World Cup. Another one of my favourites, especially when my Portuguese was not so great on the phone, is Rádio Táxi Vermelho e Branco where you can actually type in your reservation online (Faça sua reseva). I'm using it right now to book a taxi for tomorrow morning!!

BTW, put Saturday 21st September in your diary. SP Lovers will be celebrating the first anniversary of SP Night Market at Escola São Paulo and showcasing some of the favourite and best in this city! (and it's going to be FREE entry!)

*We were talking about how much we love to use the metro here, seriously! I like taxi's and the metro - whatever is going to get me somewhere fastest!! 

Perspective = Happiness + Gratefulness

A friend sent this "Happiness" talk as I'm an avid TED viewer and I think it's a lovely talk for putting "happiness" in perspective. I write this sitting in hospital with my 1.5 year old who had surgery yesterday. She had a splinter in her finger which got infected, and as we were getting read to come to the hospital yesterday morning split a cup of hot coffee on her foot. Thankfully that was just secondary but since we had a plastic surgeon (everyone has to have one here in Brazil) he multi-tasked while she went under. We are here for a week (I joke about Brazilians being excessive in everything, including medication but when it comes to your own child it's hard to argue) while she goes through her course of antibiotics.

With perspective I'm also very grateful. I have good friends here in Sao Paulo; who are bringing me lunch and wine!;  I have a fantastic empregada who is packing and cooking for the week and helping my husband look after my other daughter; the Brazilian doctors are over-cautious and protective but when it comes to my child I'm not complaining either!

I have to say the one thing I was happy for was the level of my portuguese. Being able to communicate with the doctors, nurses and know what exactly was going on gave me some peace of mind. I didn't have to rely on calling a Brazilian friend (which I would've had to do in my first year here in Brazil). If you need any motivation to learn Portuguese, this is it!!

That's her finger wrapped in bottom corner

Preparing yourself for expat life

So you're giving up your life and moving to some far flung, exotic city/town/country that you've only ever been to on a site visit with your partners company? You are the more important person of the couple / family that the company is going to be transferring. They know who they have hired / transferred IS  but what they don't have is control over you and how you feel.

In all my moves as an expat I've met some great people moving around. Moving around all the time you will soon learn that the most important person in your life is your partner / family. I have seen great couples go through some of their most testing times as expats. Some of them were even on their 3rd or 4th move but the happiness of both persons is important to how much everyone enjoys their time as an expat.

I think one of the hardest things (well for me) was giving up my career. When I was younger I had my life all planned out, I knew what career and industry I wanted to be in, I loved working in my first company and thought I would be there forever. The ideal move is that if both of you can move to new jobs! The hardest thing is when one of you is asked to move it leaves the partner  having to either quit a great job, careers, potential promotions. If you've just had a baby, then you're leaving your close network of friends and family.

Here are some tips on coping, and I would even suggest this for companies or people moving anywhere solo.

1. Forget the site visit. Instead book a visit 4-6 months after you move away. The excitement of being in a new location is dying off and some things might still be a complete struggle (i.e. you're still stuck in your hotel room and your things haven't arrived).

2. Make local friends. This is part and parcel of your experience living abroad - learning a new culture. Make friends with your colleagues, language teacher, neighbours!

3. Make expat friends. These are people that are likely to be some of your closest friends for life. You make strong connections very fast; share your deepest, darkest secrets (after a few caipirinhas!)  Your friends you make in your new home are so important to your experience. Put yourself on the line. I was the shyest person until I became an expat... Check out internations.org

3. (Try to) Learn the language. A great way to meet local friends and it can keep small problems relatively small and not so stressful. 

4. Pay for extra luggage if you need when you first move down. Bring any food, essential beauty products, medication that you can't really live without. Though in time you'll soon learn that you actually can live without...

5. Skype is the best invention for everyone living far away from family and friends.
6. Your holiday time ends up being spent on visiting friends and family but make sure to travel your new country too! Get to know and fall in love with it (I hope!). 

7. Know that it's not forever. If you really hate it you can always go home-home. 

It's like giving birth, nothing can prepare you for it!! But aside from the short list I have given above, I think the most important thing was being prepared for hard times. Even though I had moved around, the hardest move was moving after my partner and giving up my independency - particularly my financial independence, which was pretty small in the first place. I had a (an expat friend) before this BIG move tell me about what she felt, her down days, her feeling lonely even though she was talking about her 3rd move. She was also one of the most gregarious, outgoing Aussies I know! It's not easy for anyone. So arrive in your new home knowing that it's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it when you feel like you are at home (away from home). For some people it takes 6 months, other it takes 2 years and others the realisation is only when you return to your original home. Good luck! 

Car for sale - Meriva 1.8 MAXX

I'm just in the middle of writing a blog about security and safety here in Sao Paulo. It's one of our (expat) primary concerns moving to Sao Paulo but life in this city does not have to be in a glass castle. You can live a relatively "normal' life if you choose. I've heard Brazilians advise newcomers to not even walk on the streets here...

Our rule here on safety is being inconspicuous. If you are walking on the street, dress down, don't wear your watch or jewellery, dont' speak english out loud, don't carry your iphone in your hand. The same goes for the car we drive, I put a few scratches on it whilst learning to drive in this city (I'm embarrassed to say the "accidents" were with non-moving objects) but I honestly can say I would feel safer in this car than a bullet-proofed Range Rover in this city.

For Sale:

Meriva 1.8 MAXX

91,000 KM, Black, two owners since new and in very good condition. New tyres recently fitted, as well as new shock absorbers and clutch. It is the favored car of Taxi drivers and probably the most 'low profile' vehicle to use in Sao Paulo. The bodywork is in very good shape, though the wheels have some scratches.

Available for R$21,900 (FIPE valuation is R$ 22.599,00 Average Price of equivalent cars on Webmotors is R$ 23.495,76)

Please email tjchamberlain@gmail.com

SP Night Connect in partnership with Ávila Steakhouse

Two great networking events going on this week. 

On Tuesday, Girls On It Launch Event in partnership with Aceleratech starts at 7pm. Tickets are available here. A bilingual panel discussion on Women and Entrepreneurship. Girls On It (GOI) is a global media platform focused on promoting, inspiring, and educating female executives and entrepreneurs in all industries. Our mission is to bring the global community of women and girls together, by highlighting and acknowledging the individuals, organizations, and companies that support them. Men are welcome too!

On Wednesday, SP Night Connect 2 is hosted by Ávila Steakhouse. You will be "connected" with the right people; whether you are there to find a job, looking for new clients, business partners, investors. This will happen over a meat and wine pairing with a presentation from the Head Chef. If you havent been to Ávila Steakhouse yet, I can't recommend it highly enough - their house cut is just incredible and you can't find it at 348. I had an emotional (crying-because-I'm-so-happy) experience when I first ate it. Incredible.

Purchase your ticket at http://www.spnightconnect.eventbrite.com 

Stephanie Cirihal

I wrote last year about how important it is to come with an open mind when you move to Brazil, or to any city for that matter. Things are different, difficult and you are away from all things that you love and know. This is exhilirating for some and just awful for others.

I do have my down moments. Just yesterday I cried talking about how my parents won't get too see my daughters grow up - but it was shortlived, this is a choice I have made and I want to be here. For me, living life, living this adventure is what I choose.

I understand that this option to choose for others is not always available. I read Stephanie's brutally honest blog, and I love it not because I can understand but it helps ME to understand. To not be so flippant or arrogant when people struggle to love to live here, or just to live here. It's so easy to say to someone, just go home! (I think I wrote that in a different post...). She reposted an archived blog the other day on feeling at home where ever you are and how important it is to see agitation as a temporary state. 

If you are reading this blog because you are about to move to Sampa, I say do it. Are you going to hate it? Maybe. Will you survive? Of course. Will you regret it?.... 

http://stephaniecirihal.com/

Essential reading: American Exbrat in Sao Paulo

My fellow blogger Ms Foxhole aka Born Again Brazilian has just published a book about moving to / living in Sao Paulo .. A great read for anyone moving here! Also great for those who are already living here, I laughed so much because it's all so true and every week you will have similar experiences. I was just living one particular experience (being asked for documents on a weekly basis instead of just being sent the list of required documents all at once). 

It's one thing learning about a new culture, but actually adapting to it is another. I don't know if the stress of being late for an appointment will ever go away (I absolutely hate being late), making plans last minute, doing things in not orderly fashion, or wearing a thong bikini will ever come naturally to me... 

Here's one of my favourite excerpts from the book:

"I had one of my Brazilian graduate business students explain it (process) to me this way.

Our American counterparts want us to follow a timeline of A, B, C, D and E, in that order, to get the project done. But we think B should go first, then we'll do A, then E and wrap it all up with C. Forget D all together. And the Americans get very upset.

That gave me an instant migraine." 

Thank god for caiprinhas that make those migraines go away!

Ms Foxhole will also be attending the SP Night Connect this Wednesday evening at PJ Clarkes. Come and meet her, have a few drinks (and buffalo wings and nachos, mmm!) give her great reviews of her book, share SP experiences (if you've already been living here for awhile) or learn from her experiences (if you've just moved here). 


Buy her book for kindle here.

Check our her Facebook page here.

Dating in Brazil

Feliz Ano Novo!! A slow start to 2013 blogging.. as much as I think I'll have time while I'm travelling I'm not so compelled to sit at my computer when I have friends + family to catch up with and of course I'm busy killing saudades for Asian food. But at the same time it was SO nice to come back. I love holidays but living out of a suitcase (especially with 2 kids) is tiresome, and jetlag from travelling half way around the world makes it almost not worth it. This is home for us, for now.

If you have been following the JAM blog, my business partner Maria has been blogging up a storm about her first few months here in Brazil. The most popular one is the dating one she just posted which I'm re-posting here so you can live vicariously through her too!

Dating in Brazil (originally posted here)

It’s amazing how despite the increased cultural sensitivity one acquires from living abroad, extensive travel and the acquisition of international friends it’s an endless educational process.  When it comes to dating inBrazil, it’s no exception here are a few things I’ve learned: (Disclaimer:  the content below is based on observations and extensive interviews with Brazilian friends who have expressed their views.  It does not by any means reflect my private life or my personal experiences which I would prefer to keep private).

Paquerar = To Flirt.  This is the initial “mating’ subtleties two people engage in to initiate contact.  In Brazil it’s almost scripted.  Picture the scene at a “Balada” the Brazilian Portuguese word for “Night Club.”  Guy makes eye contact looks away; you make eye contact and look away. You watch him from across the room as he attempts to arouse your interest by flirting with someone else (you know it’s for your benefit only).  He walks by in the crowded “Balada” slow enough so that by chance you might catch the smell of his cologne or the touch of his skin (depending on how crowded it is).  This might go on for most of the night until he finally gets the courage (or has ruled out his other options…sad I know!) to walk up and talk to you.  He’ll usually ask you to dance and take this opportunity to hold you ever so close.  This is perfectly normal and means absolutely nothing.  If the dancing goes well and there is chemistry between you then the obvious next step is to get even closer as you dance (If you’re not glued to each other than you’re not close enough…reminder this is perfectly acceptable and means absolutely nothing other than for pure “in the moment” enjoyment.

If you’ve made it this far it will only be minutes before you’re snogging on the dance floor. Be warned this is not the casual innocent kiss.  We are talking about an escalation of some serious face sucking.  If you’re tongue is not down his throat on its way to his stomach then its only seconds before it will be.   If this process is still “gostoso” Brazilian Portuguese for “tasty” usually reserved to describe FOOD and WOMEN; somehow one in the same in this country.  A typical use of this word goes something like this “ Que Gostosa, eu vou a comer a voce” “you’re so tasty, I’m going to eat you”.  Then, the snogging is escalated to a side wall at the “Balada” for a little bit more privacy and besides the wall serves a purpose as you’re pressed up against the wall for some serious dry grinding and more snogging.   If things escalate further (and they will) then you can fill in the blanks from there.

 The key here is it means absolutely nothing other than carpe Diem.  Tomorrow is another day which may involve you but more than likely not.  The day after though might have your name on it though as Brazilians always come back for more unlike your typical one night stands and this is where it gets complicated because you move from “Paquerar” to “Ficar” which means ‘seeing each other’. The trouble is you have no idea how many people exactly he was “ficando” with when you met him or while you are “ficando”.  One thing is for sure, as long as he is seeing you from time to time, then you’re still in the game.  The fabulous news is that the rules apply to everybody so you can be “ficando’ with lots of other people too.  Basically this carries on until you start “seeing less and less of the others and more and more of each other.”  In which case you find yourself “namorando” or “Boyfriend/Girlfriend” which means you’re exclusive to each other however this means nothing because you can be “namorando” endlessly for years.  Bottom line unless he is introducing you to his friends (this is universal) then he is definitely not putting a ring on it.  Now, if you’re meeting the friends AND the family, then you are definitely on your way. 

I should also mention most guys in Brazil unless they are married will be living at home with their parents.  I know exactly what you are thinking, which brings me to the next phenomenon…Love motels.  There is NO shame or negative stigma in a love motel as ALL the social classes from A to Z participate as there is something for everyone’s taste and budget. 

Some finer details you should know, while in most places around the world if someone says “Talk to you later” the expression is open ended with no expectations of actually talking later.  The equivalent of this in Brazil is “Let me call you back.”  Which does NOT mean they will ACTUALLY call you back so don’t bother waiting for a phone call.  It’s a way to get you off the phone and nothing more.  Additionally, “I promise…” “See you..” “Yeah we’ll talk” all have Zero value, you might as well start believing in Santa Claus.   Oh I almost forgot, Brazilian men will lavish you with compliments from the second they meet you “you’re so beautiful”, “you’re so smart”, “Wow you smell so great”, “you have such beautiful eyes, legs, hair, lips, body etc etc.”  I know you ARE fabulous, but it’s NOT you its protocol so take compliments with a VERY small grain of salt.  Last, expat single men living in Brazil pick up the Brazilian protocol very quickly so beware!  On the bright side rest assured though when Brazilian men do fall in love they will be eating out of the palm of your hand.

Expand your local lingo with dirty.jam.brazilian_portuguese

Through fresh eyes

I've been rediscovering Sao Paulo this week with my friend, Maria, who is looking to move here. She landed a week ago and her first days here have already been filled with so much awe and appreciation (she just moved from Dubai - could you get 2 cities any more different?), and good old laughs as she adapts back into Portuguese.

I threw her in the deep end up on her second day here by loaning her my car. Not only did she end up in rush hour traffic;  the clutch failed on the Reboucas turn off from the Marginal and she had to ask a CET guy help her drive the car up to an emergency bay. All those cars driving in their rodizio who drove past in the 10 minutes the CET man was distracted have Maria to thank if they don't get a fine.

It's been so great to see Sao Paulo all over again through Maria's eyes. She is SOOO excited about fresh fruit and vegetables, greenery, public displays of affection, drinking in a garage bar and not at a hotel bar,... all those things you can't get or do in Dubai of course. It's all about perspective right?

Check out her Sao Paulo blogging here.

And if you know of any company looking to hire a Finance / Commercial Director let us know because she really wants to stay!!